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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Lady AsheOther/Canada Group :iconwe-are-cosplay: We-Are-Cosplay
 
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So on and off I've been debating this and it's come to this result. I really don't want to go to cons any more even if it's to see friends. I have lost all interest in socialization. I spent the last two years working my ass off to be socially acceptable into society as I do have problems and now I don't even want to try. I've tried to be more open about when I'm not feeling well and it's back fired. People are telling me I'm negative and complaining yet I've hidden all my troubles with me for over ten years and just now I have been able to speak up. I think I will go back to just keep things to myself. If I kill myself I really don't care. I can be as honest as possible and stay true to myself as possible but some little shit always has to bring me down. I don't even like going out to any places any more. I've always hated going out but I had a few quiet places that I did enjoy and now it's just as everything in this world is, ruined by people. I still very much love cosplaying but I would rather just do it at home. Honestly I never thought I would get this bad. I don't want to go to cosplay prom this weekend or animethon next month. I'm not sure how to break the news to my mom, she's going to think that's really weird I suddenly don't want to go and I'll probably get the "I'm not trying" speech yet I've done everything that's out their to help myself. I hate human beings so much, they just tear at each other. I haven't had a friend that I could completely be myself around or if I did we drifted apart over the years. My mind feels messed up, I keep having these stupid dreams of some one dying or me talking to them before they die or they say they have died in the past or something, but they feel like memories which is messing me up since I do have PTSD. So I wonder if it's a dream or memory. Usually you can tell the difference though but this one in particular I can't. Other things are triggering my memories too though and I'm having things come back that I had completely forgotten. A lot of them make me want to throw up. I know who I am and I'm happy with my self but other people still want to push you down, and I'm so tired of fighting or having to brush it off.

Why is it that some people can be complete assholes but considered awesome.

Too many people have a set idea about me which is usually the opposite of what I am then get offended when I'm not said idea. I'm tired of having to defend myself, I shouldn't have to, I don't break the law, I don't hurt people, if I do it's by accident and I WILL go back apologize or the person has to be just a rude excuse of a human being but even then I don't think I could physically hurt them, I try to understand people and be  welcoming and friendly even though I still come off a little cold or stupid. It's like no one wants to meet me half way unless it's on their terms and not a comprimise. I think my biggest regret is making friends. Friends with animals are fine but with people is such a waste. People are so jealous and greedy. You could give them everything and they'd still want more. I don't get it. I could use a cuddle from Lily right now but she's at my parents. I want to kill myself but I probably won't. I'm too tired of so many failed attempts previously and loosing my place that I won't even try anymore. A friend of mine even suggested looking up pictures of suicides to kind of scare my self out of the act. I never told her , well she'll see this now, but that actually made it less scay. My reaction to see half dead bleeding or rotting dead bodies was "We'll it doesn't look that bad." I try to tell myself that it would be horrifying for my mom to find, and it makes me cry but I think to myself "We'll my mom is upset by even simple things and maybe she'll finally get herself some therapy that is way over due. " I'm glad I have the place to myself tonight, so I can just cry. I tried watching funny things but I'm at that numb point where it's like I can't feel anything and everything feels hazy and like I'm asleep. I really want to be left alone. It would be nice if it was for a whole year. I love my family and friends but sometimes it's hard to keep up with. I've really only been talking to this one friend that I talk to pretty much everyday because I can be depressed and she's not going to say "Cheer up and smile, it will be better cause life is great." instead she checks if I'm okay and tells me to wait till the next day when my head is clearer or have a nap or something sensible. I just feel like I don't belong anywhere in this world. That's fine, because I really don't want to any way but I'd at least like to have my peace. I think I'm going to head to bed now. I don't want any night terrors or flash backs but I'm tired so I want to go rest. That's where I'm at.

That's why I like sleeping because it's peaceful so long as you have good dreams.

deviantID

o0LadyAshe0o
Lady Ashe
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Canada
Keep Calm Stamp by Kezzi-RoseTea Stamp by Kezzi-Rose
I am from the UK. :flaguk:
I speak English and French fluently.
I like learning different languages.
I am a mutt/fruit salad/Heinz 57.
I have been cosplaying for nine years.
I have many hidden talents.
Later in life I hope to be a fashion designer, make-up artist, comic book artist and voice actor.

...I enjoy scaring people with pictures of sea creatures from the deep. XD

*You can message or comment to me in English, French or Brazilian Portuguese if it is easier for you. (I can only take commission orders in English though.)

Serah - Stamp by chillmybonesBeyond Good and Evil Stamp by nakashimarikuTomb Raider stamp 2 by LaraHallerRAVE MASTER STAMP by BurmecianYuna: Sending :: Stamp by Saphitri

Emilie Autumn, Gandhi, Koda Kumi, Tyra Banks, Grace Jones, La Carmina, Ellen DeGeneres, Aural Vampire, Matthew Good, and Hiro Mashima are just some of the people that inspire me.

I have a certificate in fashion design and marketing.
:typerhappy:

    Planned 2014 Spring/Summer Cosplays & 2015 Fall/Winter Cosplays:
  1. Tifa-Final Fantasy VII
  2. Tifa Stamp by Seryia
  3. Tintin-The Adventures of Tintin
  4. TinTin's Best Catchphrase by the-ocean-sings
  5. Elsa-Frozen
  6. Elsa Stamp c: by Thetruffulacupcake
  7. Venus McFlytrap-Monster High
  8. Monster High 1 by kaorinyaplz
  9. Lacus-Gundam Seed
  10. Stamp - Gundam SEED: Lacus 2 by Emiliers
  11. Laxus-Fairy Tail
  12. Stamp 51 Laxus by Nobume
  13. Deer Forest Spirit-Original Cosplay
  14. Oh deer by Animal-Stamp
  15. Leo-Fairy Tail
  16. loke stamp by SakamakiJustine
  17. Helios-Sailor Moon
  18. Helios x Chibiusa stamp by nerine-yaoi
  19. Thief Rikku-Final Fantasy X-2
  20. Rikku X2 stamp by TheNightMaster
  21. Songstress Yuna-Final Fantasy X-2
  22. Yuna Stamp by fadingz
  23. Mimi-Digimon
  24. Mimi 02 Stamp by KelpyKrad
  25. Kari-Digimon
  26. Kari and Gatomon Stamp by funlakota



Favorite genre of music: All except for emo. It can kill it's self. Not too big on country or air fairy hipster music either.
Favorite style of art: Abstract and classic comic book art.
Favorite characters to cosplay: Yuna, Serah, Emilie Autumn, Rikku & Kairi.
Personal Quote: Never give up, give in or back down and always stay strong. ^-^

*BTW how I look in cosplay is not the real me. I have tons of make up, wigs, contacts, and other effects for the photos. It's not natural. XD Just so you know because I think too many people think cosplay and fashion photos are all natural. Don't believe such lies! D:

Leafes divider by Gewalgon
Comission Info (Comissions are closed for the time being, check back in September.)
Shipping: Canada only. (Due to customs and exchange.)
Items available: Most accessories in my gallery. (Some are one of a kind.)
Method of payment: Paypal or cash if in person.
Custom orders: It varies price and time wise on the materials you want used and how accurate you want the item to be.
Leafes divider by Gewalgon

My mental and physical health blog:
cranium-crash.blogspot.ca/

My fashion and fun blog:
lady-of-aces.blogspot.com/

YouTube:
www.youtube.com/user/777LadyOf…

Cosplayers' Cure which I never use:
en.curecos.com/profile/?ch=348…

Cosplay.com which I never use:
www.cosplay.com/member/60713/

My Facebook:
www.facebook.com/LadyAshyAshe

Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/pages/Lady-As…
Interests

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:iconchocoburu:
Chocoburu Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student General Artist
Thank you so much for the fav on our Asterix cosplay duo! ^^
Asterix  Come on, let's fight! by Chocoburu
Feel free to take a look to my gallery and watch it if you like it or give me a like on my facebook page :heart: www.facebook.com/ChocoCosplay
Hope you have a nice day :la:
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:iconflorbarrios:
florbarrios Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the :+fav: :hug: please check my other work, or if you are into :facebook: please visit my page for more photos :D www.facebook.com/florbcosplay

xo
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:iconithinkiwasinheaven:
IthinkIwasInHeaven Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you kindly for the fav! ^_^
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:icondubugomdori:
DubuGomdori Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2014
Please, sit at this Rest Stop dubugomdori.deviantart.com/art…, and thanks for the fave.
Reply
:iconxanasakura:
XanaSakura Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the fav :hug:
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:icono0ladyashe0o:
o0LadyAshe0o Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're most welcome!
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:iconvamp-wolf-everdain:
Vamp-Wolf-Everdain Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav :)
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:iconharleythesirenxoxo:
HarleyTheSirenxoxo Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks so much for da' fave on "Gwen Stacy: The Fall",  Lady Ashe Baybee! :huggle: :iconloveloveplz: - Harl (Victoria) xoxo :iconharleyquinnlaplz: 
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:icondantedart:
Dantedart Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014
Thanks for the favs, miss! <3
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:iconthejoy-mgs:
TheJoy-MGS Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you so much for the :+fav: !
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